Whats up pussycat whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

OK rewriting disclaimer: In this blog post it may be a couple things that may go over your head if you are not closely associated with me or my friends or the lingo. It may be graphic yet take it with a grain of salt and I´m just relaying my experiences so far.

Alright let´s see here, what to say what to say. Since we last spoke I´ve done a couple of crazy things, later that evening I met some guys at dinner. I was eating lasagna and was the first good meal that I´ve had in like 4 days. All my other meals I would look at a menu, not understand it, point and be disgusted at what I was eating so this meal was very important to me. I started off headphones on writing in my gournal(wet hot american summer anyone) and then decided to not shut myself off from everyone and took them off. I stood up to get a beer and when I came back my spot was taken and I was pissed off a little because I left my notebook there as a sign of spots reserved. Well the guy moved over when I came and that quickly became the start off all the fun I´ve been having. To jump back real quick I went to copacabana and it was nothing but thongs, wowzers. Anywhoo Tom(the seat stealer) quickly started a conversation with me and then what do you know 2 other guys come and sit across from us and boom and conversation erupted. This is my first time chatting it up with people in awhile and they let me know that they´re all also traveling by themselves and have developed these friends since they´ve been here. Great news and a few beers later leads to hey lets go to the hostel next door and start the night off. Hurray beer, I have friends now. We march off to a hostel called Stone of a Beach and act as if we own the joint heading to the biggest table and being the loudest people there drawing stares from other backpackers. There´s 7 of us now and we play a game that I´m familiar with called 21 the drinking came. Involves nothing but a voice and a quick mind, a couple rules that if you break you must drink were; no swearing, can´t drink with your right hand, and no pointing. Me being the expert at drinking games move my cup to the left a couple inches and claspe my hands and put my hand behind my neck as to point with my elbows. Now everytime someone messes up a new rule is made until about a 1/2 hour goes by and we´re all a complete shit show. Some new rules were you have to make an animal noise before you drink, baaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh(sheep), have to refer to yourself in the 3rd person(James is really having a fun time), when one person(designated) stands up and bawks like a chicken and spins in a circle the last person to follow and sits down has to drink. This means drinks were spilled, people missed there chairs and a whole lot of laughter and since my laughter has been built up for so long I´m just exploding whenever I get the chance. So after awhile of drinking the bar closes down and as we walk out the front door literally the next door over is a club. We enter, see a lot of stars of David and they assume that its a jewish club. I look at the bartenders and see rabbi type beards but I know a Rasta when I see one, this is a rasta bar. I go to the dance floor wishing that I could just get twerked(grinded on to those who don´t know the lingo) but I quickly find out that´s an american thing. You mean a whole year of no twerk sessions accompanied by the infamous twerk face, sadness. Well in this club there is a girl who I start talking to named guadalupe who speaks no english but is very good looking, her friend who seems a little more eagar to meet me comes over and starts to speak broken english to me. The guys I were with described as a whale but I thought she was a very friendly person. She tells me her sister is a DJ there and its going to be a lot of reggetone played so the Sean Paul in me comes out and I start moving the hips yet bring the american fist pump out. I realize I do that fist pump a lot. Well to sum it up quick I ended up getting that dance with Guadalupe, she was amazed at my skills, everyone left except for 3 of us. Drunken stop at the neighborhood gas station to grab the essentials, eggs, loaf of bread, cheetos, and 1 copy of playboy(they have great articles) Me and Daniel spend about the next half our in the public kitchen dropping eggs in the sink, on the stove, no toaster so put bread on the pan. Basically just a shit show and security comes up and he was mad at the mess I was making and I quickly told him, I got this, I got this. Start mopping up spilled yoke with pieces of bread which turned into a great story the next morning when I woke up still a little loopy. So at breakfast at like 12 we all recap what happened, Tom rememers nothing, Mel broke her camera, and Daniel has a wicked burn on his hand from the Iron Chef experience the night before(todays ingredients EGGS!!!!) I had a tour booked to see christo de redeemer basically a 100 ft statue of Jesus that looks over all of Rio. Now when we arrived I had heard from someone thats its not that big which I found to be the contrary and just an amazing view of the city. I mean I just sat there and took it in and got closer to realizing what it is that I´m doing here/on this trip. Also I see one of the sweetest mullets I´ve ever seen, curls and all. We go to the helipad that is a little lower then where Christ is and watch the sunset over the mountains. To describe it a little bit better Rio has taken these mountains that are right in the middle of the city and put them to great use building favelas(shanty towns), winding roads, and viewpoints of the city. After I take a lot of camera shots we head back to the hostel where I have a dinner date with a couple of mates from the night before. We head to a restuarant similar to Fogo de Chao in MN, a brazilian style restuarant where now I´m getting the real deal. Its a buffet with a salad bar and they come around with skewers with all different sorts of meats that are just pouring juices out. This whole experience plus drinks cost 27 reais which is about 15 american dollars. Daniel ate more than I´ve ever seen anyone eat in my life. Everytime they came by he took some meat and filled up on the salad bar twice. I´m talking ateast 20 times he got meat off the skewer. We head back to the hostel and we all have kind of said that we want to take it easy tonight because of last nights activites. Well that didn´t last long because there is a street party in Lapa that just rocks and we all reluctantly decide to head there. Since we all took our time in making our plans we are all split up between 3 different vans which makes me nervous but then I meet some other guys on the van which made up for all of that. Everyone is pretty good at sticking together and making sure everyone from the hostel is ok. Oh the breakup of people is pretty much Irish and Englend with me being the only American. So at Lapa which happens every friday its pretty much where you want to be with street vendors, blaring music, dance clubs, and live music outside but we´re told that you need to be very careful while you´re out here. So this means that in the midst of all the brazilians there is a gringo grounds where all the white people are standing together and me being me its hard to loosen up because I have to watch my back. My hands over my pockets, every brazilian that stares at me I stare back, looking around just to make sure there´s no crowds of brazilians. I then get tapped by an intimidating man with his shirt off and big muscles who asks in I speak portuguese in portuguese, I say no and he points at this guy whos standing behind this girl from the hostel. I couldn´t quite see the problem until I see that he is grinding on her with a MASSIVE boner, I´m talking this thing was pointing to the sky, way worse then Ron Burgendy(its the pletes in the pants, they´re creating an illusion) but then it just wasnt the boner. He had two guys standing as close to him behind him and while everyone in Lapa is moving to the street music they´re standig stiff(no pun intented) with straight faces. I told 3 people from the hostel to move immediatly and come down to where I was, a quickly after a fight breaks out right by us. Time to move in my book. We all start moving down the road and that´s when I see two 5 year old boys sitting to enjoy just as up as anyone else at 2 in the morning. I forgot to point out that the people I heard you are supposed to watch out for is the children, and me working with youth was definitely one of the most aggravating things to see. no joke I seen a 3 year old selling gum following his 7 year old sister and they are just demanding money. Putting chiclets in your hand even after you say no, and the brazilians wont be fooled quickly throwing them back in the box that she is carrying. Back to the two boys, shirts off, having just a great time so I stop to observe them with these two english girls I knew from the hostel. The boys start asking her for some liquer and are just as cheerful as any kids that age but are just in the(cultured) wrong enviorment. The pull out there little weiners and start peeing on the wall as one tries to fill up a plastic glass and the other keeps kicking it away so then he stops grabs another glass and the other kicks it away again. I finish my drink and set it down and tap him to let him know he can pee in it and the other grabs the cup and they run off. I sat back and thought about how different that was to me and how normal it was to them and realize us 3 have lost the group. No problem though these 2 english girls were black so now we are a traveling group of brazilians no longer confused with all the white people we were with. We decide to go to one of the clubs thats playing hip hop and rock out for about an hour or two to songs that I´m all too familiar with. A milli amilli a milli amilli, theres that damn fist pump again. The cuter of the the two english girls was using me as the fake man as guys were grabbing her from left and right as the other sets herself up quite well with a local man. I think its my time to strike, I start to dance with her as she stops after about 1 minute into the song, stupid. I still rock out with my cock in to the Kanye music and am just having a great time doing so. We talk for a little bit more and that´s when she reveals she is in a 8 year relationship. Um, TAXI. I quickly leave them two and hop in a cab by myself and as we´re exciting Lapa there is a car with its trunk open pounding music and who do I see shaking there hands like tamboreens and freaking out, those 2 little boys and now it is about 4 in the morning. The cab driver found out about 3 minutes after she starts driving that I´m american and told me she was scared because she thought I was brazilian and we chatted it up a little on the way back to my hostel. I crawl up to the third bunk, try to set my alarm for the 6 hour tour I had planned to go to at 10 in the morning(its 530 now) and after a few attempts I failed and go to sleep. I wake up thinking if those guys went on the tour that is amazing as I´m hurting right now from the previous night and after about an hour of being up I turn the corner and see them, just as hungover as me and we share some laughs about the 10 am tour was not the best idea. I know that was a lot but so much to cram in about the past couple days. Today we plan on just taking it easy renting the dvd player and watching super troopers. We´ll see if we can stick to our guns, but my plans right now are to stay at this hostel for the next couple days with the Dubliners and then start making my way to Buenos Aires on monday or so. Well I´ll holla at you, oh the best part is these guys know Chappelle and we´ve been saying quotes all night.